| Fun Little Onions  I. Intro by Fred (standing in
for Yuzee)
Fred
again. Here's a guide to some of my friends. These are some of the species of Fun
Little Onions. And there's always more to add!
Fred (Onionus Averagus)
 Fred is an average white
onion. Don't tell him to his face; then he'll make you cry in more ways than one.
Besides being overly sensitive, Fred enjoys saladbowl surfing and light Russian
literature.
Frederique (Onionus Saccharineius)
 Frederique is a
sweet onion. Yeah, you know, standard optomist, Shirley Temple is her role model, et
cetera. Frederique is the female counterpart to Fred. The name tipped you off,
right?
Green (Onionus Garnishus)
 Green is bitter. Not in
taste (actually, I don't know, I don't like onions), but in attitude. Green feels
that he is always playing second onion. Not only is his name what color he is, but
rarely is he served on his own accord; he is almost always a garnish. Show him some
love.
Shallot (Onionus Pipsqueakius)
 Shallot is the smallest
F.L.O. around. And he doesn't get enough oxygen down there. He's a little
warped, (shameless pun ahead) shallot we say? Just put him in your soup,
and he'll be okay.
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